The way Dean holds Cas’ face.
Those hands have held that face before.
This is not the first time Dean has held Cas like that.
But it’s the most desperate.
This isn’t the first time Cas has died.
But this is the first time Dean has seen what’s left.
It’s the first time he’s seen Castiel actually dead with his own two eyes.
Not just a trench coat floating in the water.
Not just a pile of unrecognizable gore and pain.
But the man he loves, his best friend, the one member of his family that wasn’t supposed to be able to die, at least not the way a human can.
The face he loves so much, still, cold, unmoving, expressionless, dead. The impossibly blue eyes closed and never able to open again.The same way he’s seen everyone else he loves, but this is so much worse, this is Castiel; his angel. Who isn’t supposed to be able to die, not like this, who always came back no matter what happened, is really, truly dead.
Because he didn’t get there soon enough.
do you ever get those pangs of anxiety where you feel like nobody likes you and nobody will ever like you and you will achieve nothing